Avoiding 'favourites'

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babytarragon
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Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by babytarragon » Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:44 pm

I gather that most members here have at least three rats, and I find it hard enough to give equal attention to my two, especially since I have one outgoing boy and one shy boy.

How do you avoid favouritism? Or do you just accept that some of your rats crave your attention more than others?

I'll always leave an equal amount of treats for Kanda while I'm handfeeding Mejiro (Kanda will very rarely take a treat from me, whereas Mejiro tries to eat from my mouth...) but it's hard giving them equal attention, as Kanda scrabbles to get back to his cage straight away so I usually let him go :(
Kanda & Mejiro - hoodie dumbo boys
Nagatacho & Osaki - siamese dumbo boys

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philosophyfox
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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by philosophyfox » Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:48 pm

I don't have favourites, but I have had a couple who are a bit more out going and so have bonded with me a little more than others. I have one guy Slug who isn't a huge fan of cuddles and is the only one who struggles. I just spend a bit more time with him, pop him on my bed from time to time and make sure I make the effort to handle him lots. My lad Gaelan (RIP:( ) was rather shy of me for some time, so I spent a lot of time with him and he ended up rather more confident and was at the cage doors with the others, and even started giving my nose kisses :hearts:

Just handle them both plenty, they'll be fine. :luck:
Moth :dumbo: Slug :dunce: Bug :smileyrat: Grub :smileyrat:
Missing: Ziggy Tribble Fiver Gumbo Rowdy Hige Toboe Tate Lyle Steven Daisy Crunchie Gaelan

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acapae_wolf
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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by acapae_wolf » Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:56 pm

I have favourites :lol: It's natural too, and I don't try and avoid it.
Having said that, I don't show favouritism i.e. give the nicest bits of food to the ones I like best etc.

Rats are very individual in character and some will be more likely to want to spend time with you having cuddles and generally being poked. For other rats that's not wanted attention and their idea of a nice time is going off, doing their own thing, and occasioning popping over to say hello (or not, as the case may be!). Neither is right, but it does mean that you'll give more direct attenion to one type of rat over the other. My favourite individual(s) isn't necessarily the one(s) who like the maximum human attention though, that's just one factor in their character :D

Having said that, if they're new, it could be a confidence thing. I certainly wouldn't give up on Kanda, but maybe take it at the pace he sets. Some of mine aren't very cuddly, but I try and have the decision as to whether they will or not with them - initially they won't ask, but over time as I get to know them they'll gradually build things up :)

eta - food that's in a human's mouth or their hand for human-eating is The Best Thing Ever. Grr lol.
*~~Beri~~*
with the ratlings: Orbit, Lanorial, Amdridh, Arkiadera, Esker, Brie, Larka and Foxtrot. Also Anfreda the hamsterling.
:hearts: All those who've moved on

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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by Toribob » Tue Jul 05, 2011 3:44 pm

I have 5 boys now, and I do have favourites, but it also changes depending on who is up to what!! That being said, Boo is such a lovely licky boy, and he probably gets slightly more attention when theyre out because he comes looking for it..

I am not sure how long you have had Kanda for, but my two new boys hated being picked up and handled and would always try and scramble back to their cage if I had them out in room with cage. So, I started um, popping them down my top, and walking around house with them. They are much more settled now, and can have cuddles for 30 mins or so.

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MistressSadako
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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by MistressSadako » Tue Jul 05, 2011 5:10 pm

acapae_wolf wrote:I have favourites :lol: It's natural too, and I don't try and avoid it.
Having said that, I don't show favouritism i.e. give the nicest bits of food to the ones I like best etc.
This is exactly what I was going to put. I definitely havev favorites, but I don't show them favouritism 8) If they want to spend more time with me of their own accord (eg chosing to come to me during freerange while others don't) then that's just a bonus :)
Stacey and the residents of Muse Rattery
Missing all my past ratties :hearts:
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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by Ziggy » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:39 pm

I have 42, and honestly, you just come to accept that some will push themselves forward to be cuddled and gotten out, others have little to no interest in me.
I am happy with this. I just go by what they want. I don't force any rats to be social if they don't want to be. All of them are friendly, handlable, perfectly socialised rats. But some are just more into rat company, some are more into human company. I don't force them to be one way or the other.
With all but 4 being rescued, some of them have had a bad earlier life, some have had a good earlier life so some are more interactive than others.
Rats, to me, are like little people with their personalities. Some are all about interaction, others like their privacy and I respect this. Im not the most social of people either, and wouldn't want someone to force me to be so if I didn't want to be.
Rats are smart enough to let you know what they want, so I just do what they tell me!

As for favourites, I don't think its a problem to have them, and I think everyone does. It doesn't mean you don't love the others, because I love them all, but some just 'click' with your own needs better than others, just like with people. A rat isn't going to be upset if it isn't your 'heart rat', he's only going to care if it affects the way you treat him. And it doesn't, for me. They're all treated equally.
Maybe the 'favourites' get more cuddles, but inevitably, the ones that become my faves are the ones who naturally WANT more cuddles, so its all good!

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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by BasilTheRat » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:41 pm

It is impossible not to have favourites. I love all of my rats past and present, but I have a favourite in my current group, and I have an "all-time" favourite who sadly isn't with me anymore :(
Andy and the ratties: Seven, Kes, Luna, Ada, Orion, Bandit
:rainbow: Janeway, Shandy, Deanna, Izzy, Kira
And the youngest of the family is moving with authority,
Building castles by the sea, he dares the tardy tide to wash them all aside...

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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by cam » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:55 pm

I don't have favpurites, i have soft spots :wink:

I have 4 girlies at the moment, i love them all, but i have soft spots for my first 2, it could be because they were my first ever ratties, but one is the most outgoing, loves me, always coems and bugs me when they are having floor time and steals food, walks all over my laptop, the list goes on :roll: but i love her to peices, also her sister, she is not the most outgoing, she gets almost pushed to the back when it comes to food and cuddles, but she is just as friendly and craves attention just as much as the others, i love them both very much :love:
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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by Neotoma » Tue Jul 05, 2011 8:30 pm

I probably do have favourites, but as Beri says it's just a question of not showing favouritism. Although having a very mixed age group, I almost always have one oldie, and they get a bit more attention, as does anyone on medication - just because they benefit from the mollycoddling. Cuddles aren't really an issue as they all come for them if they want them, and I only have 6 so it's not hard to make sure everyone who wants one gets one. And tbh, it's been made quite clear to me that I'm interesting to climb on (especially if I have food), but not interesting to sit on when there is a room to be bounced round. At the moment, the cage is open, and everyone is on the floor except glurk who just jumped on the sofa, ran across my lap, and took a flying leap onto the coffee table before jumping off the other side onto the floor. Arthur is trying to climb my boyfriend's leg (boyfriend is wearing shorts), Woozle is pottering round the kitchen floor hoping to find something edible, Sausage and Pumpkin are doing something or other behind the sofa, and George is leaping round the floor in giant pop-corny bunny hops in celebration of him being a george and it being a floor. I'm the least interesting thing here :lol: .
Alison and the horde of squish :smileyrat:

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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by Betterstar » Tue Jul 05, 2011 8:53 pm

I've never had a solid favourite, and never a "heart rat". I do have favourites, but they change every day depending on my mood so everyone gets a turn at being loveliest!

Today Ptarmigan has the most beautiful face, but Burdock was being extra kissy, Minmin and Poot were snuggling under the covers being uber cute, Oak was doing bouncy play, Boojum was his usual wonderful delightful self and Esme was fairly well behaved and came to me for a little cuddle. Jackalump and Blunder were taking turns at giving bruxxy kisses and having their ears rubbed. Today everyone is my favourite :hearts:
Sian & Boojum, Minnow, Poot, Esme, Oak, Burdock, Ptarmigan, Blunder and Jacques.
Missing Hugo, Krindle, Dandelion, Baron, Winder, Snark, Snapcase, Snufkin, Twirl, Somer, Musket, Hodgkins, Urs.

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babytarragon
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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by babytarragon » Wed Jul 06, 2011 9:05 am

I just had a breakthrough with Kanda- I let him eat yoghurt off my fingers and half an hour later he fell asleep on my elbow. Now I know his weakness I will have to exploit it! I'm going to try baby food as it's low in fat, salt, sugar etc.

I don't think I'll ever succumb to GMR. Two rats is plenty!!
Kanda & Mejiro - hoodie dumbo boys
Nagatacho & Osaki - siamese dumbo boys

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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by Ceslater » Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:56 am

i try within reason (biting would be a no no, they have to be able to be handled by the vet etc) to let them be who they are.
i've had 10 rats now (so i am still a complete novice), whilst i have loved all of them so so much, i have rats that stand out to me for various reasons. a couple of them i had a very close close bond with them, petal was a rat that will stand out to me till the end. he was absolutely a one person rat (the only person he ever showed particular affection for, other than me, was the vet...but then she is very pretty :oops: ) he was my rat, he was absolutely gorgeous, wonderfully eccentric and i miss him unbelievebly. likewise alfie was extremely special and jack was my first rat.
i have loved all my rats but i have had rats that were that little more, however despite that they aren't shown favouritism...i keep it fair. however rats are individuals and they need different things. some need more time in certain areas than others. some will throw themselves at you. deimos is a wonderfully licky guy (he's gorgeous and has licked his way into my heart) and needs to give you a thorough groom on a regular basis. elvis is still very timid and needs calm quiet movements. rowan needs playing with every free range and kale needs to be told how beautiful he is and stroked a lot.
deimos...kale...rowan...elvis
jack, alfie, obe, bean, bali and petal. love you all always. x
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Toribob
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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by Toribob » Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:24 pm

babytarragon wrote:
I don't think I'll ever succumb to GMR. Two rats is plenty!!

Hmmm! I said that too, and now I five of them. I would have more too, but my boyfriend won't let me!

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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by Lackis » Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:38 pm

I wouldn't say I have 'favourites' but I have a heart rat :love: and that doesn't mean I liked her more than all my other rats, just that we had a really special bond I've not experienced with any other living being so far. Hopefully that doesn't mean it's a one off I'd like to experience it again. I think you have to sort of adapt to your rats personalities, Jupiter's a bit shy and slow, Abigail's very passive and placid now that she's been spayed, and Matilda and Greta are NUTS. So I alter my behaviour to be more slow and conciderate of Jupiter, wheras I smother Matilda and Greta because that's the only way to get hold of them and give them a hug! They all get the same kind of treatment when it comes to food and treats so I guess favouritism doesn't really come in to it as long as you're fair to them all :luck:
Sasha & Qudo :halo: Maggie & Cassie :halo: Abigail, Matilda & Jupiter :dumbo: Anastacia and Greta! :baby:

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Re: Avoiding 'favourites'

Post by Jimi+Milo » Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:06 pm

I have a favourite :) . I think it can be hard not to have a favourite to be honest, although my previous two I didnt. Like with people you get along better with some than others and sometimes you just click with one. Theres no favouritism I love them both equally and they get the same treats etc, if I'm honest my favourite does get more attention but thats only because hes far more people oriented then his brother and always wants to be near us, its not a diliberate thing hes more interested in me than his brother.
Hannah
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Missing my sleeping little angel Milo and big squishy Jimi :hearts:

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