Help... I feel like an awful ratty mum...

For anything to do with rat care that doesn't fit into any of the sections above!

What to do with the boys?

Keep them and try harder, you lazy woman.
18
69%
Give them to someone who can care for them better.
8
31%
 
Total votes: 26

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Sweetpea
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Post by Sweetpea » Sat Oct 01, 2005 5:30 pm

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn here - and forgive me if I've missed anything in a previous post - why are you taking sole responsibility for the ratties when you have a brand new baby?? If Chris thinks they smell, then perhaps he could help with the cleaning? Even if he works all day - at the moment you're working 24/7! And you will be for a while yet.
Everyone else has given really good advice - I think you're being too hard on yourself and should definately keep your boys!! :)

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Post by Ghostlove » Sat Oct 01, 2005 5:40 pm

He takes most of the responsibility for them now. That's why he wants me to take care of the boys if I want to keep them.
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Sweetpea
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Post by Sweetpea » Sun Oct 02, 2005 12:12 pm

Are the boys your rats then? Am I being dense Pixie? I honestly can't see the problem - you have a baby to take care of - he looks after all the rats. I think he's got the better deal in terms of workload. Sorry - does that sound too harsh? If you decide that you want to re-home them, PM me - I'm round the corner, you can come and visit! Or I'm happy to foster them for a while - or come and help a couple of times a week. I feel yo're being pushed into a decision you don't want to (or shouldn't have to) make. There must be a way round it so that everybody is happy.

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Midnight Rose
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Post by Midnight Rose » Sun Oct 02, 2005 12:53 pm

LisaLQ wrote:I've got 5 kids, 3 of which came at once


:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o


*Salutes LisaQ for her incredible coping powers*

Edited just to say that I agree with Sweetpea. Maybe he should be asking himself if he can try harder rather than you asking yourself. Loving people and being a member of a family is all about compromising, making sacrifices and supporting each other. I can see where your sacrifice and compromise would be but where is his? Excuse me if I've offended anyone....especially you.

Edited yet again to add that I didn't vote in your poll because I don't think you are lazy, far far from it, but my thoughts are that I think you should try to keep the boys if you can, but if you don't keep them I think thats fine too as I know you won't have made the decision lightly. I just didn't vote because I couldn't and wouldn't tell you to try harder.
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Post by Ghostlove » Sun Oct 02, 2005 2:03 pm

Sweetpea wrote:Are the boys your rats then? Am I being dense Pixie? I honestly can't see the problem - you have a baby to take care of - he looks after all the rats. I think he's got the better deal in terms of workload. Sorry - does that sound too harsh? If you decide that you want to re-home them, PM me - I'm round the corner, you can come and visit! Or I'm happy to foster them for a while - or come and help a couple of times a week. I feel yo're being pushed into a decision you don't want to (or shouldn't have to) make. There must be a way round it so that everybody is happy.


They're all our rats to be honest. But he takes care of Orion too and his view is that he goes out to work so he's knackered most of the time anyway. I can see his point but I must admit... it feels like he thinks he does more than he actually does and doesn't realise how much I have on my plate right now.

God, this isn't an agony aunt page, sorry to moan. I do seem to be coping with looking after the boys at the moment so hopefully all will be well.
Anji, with Lyta, Talia, Ivanova, Na'toth, Delenn, Angua, Cheri and Perdita. :girly:
:rainbow: Playing at the bridge: Suki, Aiko, Alyx, Lyta, Leia, Isis, Bert, Ernie, Elmo, Eddie, Oscar, Agnes, Magrat, Esme, Rosie, Gytha and Mr Jingles (mouse). :rainbow:

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Post by Midnight Rose » Sun Oct 02, 2005 2:10 pm

Pixie wrote: But he takes care of Orion too and his view is that he goes out to work so he's knackered most of the time anyway. I can see his point but I must admit... it feels like he thinks he does more than he actually does and doesn't realise how much I have on my plate right now.


hmmm

Don't worry about talking to us! If you can't moan about a ratty related issue here where can you!? You have support here and also a lot of people here have experienced what you're going through so can give you help, ideas and sympathy because they know exactly what it feels like. Carry on moaning! I am listening!
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Post by Sweetpea » Sun Oct 02, 2005 7:04 pm

Oh God Pixie - does that sound familiar or what??? Yes he goes out to work, yes he's knackered when he comes home - but so are you!!!!! You've just given birth - you're physically all over the place, your hormones will be pinging off the walls for month(maybe years )yet - you really don't need to be pushed into a decision about the rats. As you said they belong to both of you - so he should be looking after them at this time. I'm glad he helps with Orion - so he should! Why do men think they're hard done by if they have to help with children and go out to work? Like most women don't do this anyway?

Having Orion was a decision you made together - it sounds as if he really under estimated just how time consuming a tiny baby is - not to say how tiring. I remember just being on my knees I was so tired, in a fog most of the time and I didn't have pets then. Am I being hideous? I think he's being unfair - but I also think he hasn't quite adjusted to having Orion around and as he's at work, has no real concept of what's really involved day in, day out.

You both need to give it all time - you can't change everything all at once - a baby does enough of that. Thinking about you lots today - I meant what I said about only being round the corner - rat cleaning not too gross to help out with!! :D
As PurpleGoddess said - we're all here to listen - so moan away. After all how many other people are stalked to Blakes by total strangers???!!! :lol:

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Post by Ghostlove » Sun Oct 02, 2005 7:56 pm

Hehe, that 'stalking' episode actually made me feel really good - it's nice to know someone cares! :D
Anji, with Lyta, Talia, Ivanova, Na'toth, Delenn, Angua, Cheri and Perdita. :girly:
:rainbow: Playing at the bridge: Suki, Aiko, Alyx, Lyta, Leia, Isis, Bert, Ernie, Elmo, Eddie, Oscar, Agnes, Magrat, Esme, Rosie, Gytha and Mr Jingles (mouse). :rainbow:

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Post by geo614142 » Sun Oct 02, 2005 9:42 pm

Keep them! I can imagine new babies are hard work ... keep the ratties and give them cuddles every day and tell your OH to play with Baby in evening while you give ratties attention .. or vice versa ... :D
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Post by lollypop » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:52 am

I agree with all thats been said before. You said that its the sentimental part of you that doesnt want to part with them. I think youre being too hard on yourself for the sake of fitting in with what you think others want and feel you should do.

Don't be railroaded into making a decision you will regret - whether that means keeping them or giving them away.
I'm sure your hubby is knackered when he comes home from work but as Sweetpea says, so are you! However, blokes are always more tired, more sick, work much harder....so when he says hes tired, hes probably half as tired as you!

Don't think I'm having a go at your hubby, but I think hes being a little unfair :)
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Post by miroed » Mon Oct 03, 2005 12:13 pm

I say keep them but clean their cage 1 <maybe twice if it gets really rank smelling> i have 4 girls in one cage and clean it really good on the weekends and 3 boys in a smaller cage <too small to go in the big male cage yet> who get their cage done usually the same day. the big males in their large house will get theirs done this coming weekend its been about a week but miminal oder.

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Post by Solar » Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:51 pm

carefresh is good at keeping ratty smells down, I've recently switched and the weekend they needed cleaning out a friend of my mums said they hardly smell at all! which made me feel better as my nana is always moaning my room smells :roll: but I do use a smelly called bouchard natural room freshener it lasts up to 8 weeks (mine has a week left and I can still smell it quite strongly)
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Post by miroed » Tue Oct 04, 2005 12:51 am

i think i need to swirch to the white care fresh as my little foxie has stopped sneezing since moving her into the cage with that in it....it just looks terrible when they poo in it :lol:

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Post by Sylentskye » Tue Oct 04, 2005 1:09 am

miroed wrote:i think i need to swirch to the white care fresh as my little foxie has stopped sneezing since moving her into the cage with that in it....it just looks terrible when they poo in it :lol:


Sounds to me like you just found a good reason to try and litter train your ratties :lol: :wink:
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Post by miroed » Tue Oct 04, 2005 1:12 am

tryied to do that....but the bigger girls like to eat the litter odd balls i swear LOL

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