Passion or over sensitivity?

[Estelle]

I do something similar – I usually reckon to keep away from anything controversial and if I am going to reply I give myself at least 24 hours to think about it.

I tend to work on similar and also you tend to find that often someone else has replied far more constructively and politely that you might have done at the point where you first read the message. Ok so occasionally threads go off the wall completely and end up as war, but that isn't really the norm.

I do agree with what has already been said that people read things differently - it's often hard to read the emotion behind an message and it's easy to misread what was really going on in someone's head. Some people just aren't good at putting into writing what they are thinking or feeling without it reading completely wrong to a number of other people.

[tabirat]

I think there is the problem of 'not knowing' when reading forum posts.

I know there are some members who sometimes appear direct or abrasive - but whom I know personally - some of them very well. Because I know them it is so much easier to read their posts in the spirit in which they are meant.

I always have that in mind when reading the posts of people I don't know in real life. I try to extend them the same courtesy - but it is of course much harder.

What worries me most is not necessarily the content or tone of individual posts or threads, but the wider climate created within the forum because of them. The climate our posts and responses create has to continue to fulfil the aims and ethos of 'Fancy Rats'... and because of that it *is* important that rogue views are challenged. However, each of us has a responsibility to measure what we say - so as not to make this a place where people feel unable to come and seek advice for fear of judgemental criticism. There is a time and place. Believe me if I posted what I really think about any number of situations discussed on here I would be justifiably banned!

[mcfadyen]

Believe me if I posted what I really think about any number of situations discussed on here I would be justifiably banned!

Me too

On a serious note, I agree with tabirat- I think it's sad that a few posts or a few members' attitudes and responses can sometimes seem to pervade the whole forum community. It saddens me when members say 'this used to be a friendly forum' because I think it still IS very friendly. To be honest, I'm suprised things don't get out of control more often, especially with the sheer number of people who use this board, and I think that's evidence enough that, by and large, this is a great community and I'm more than happy to be part of it

[ajdesq]

Time for my two-penn'orth...

I've never really taken offence at anything I've seen on here. I always bear in mind that the written word can be read in a different way to how it was meant to sound. I also appreciate that different folks have different ways of expressing themselves. Some call a spade a spade while others like me would call it a garden implement

I personally think this forum is pretty darn great as are the people who contribute, and the mods who put so much time and effort into it. I really appreciate it, and so do my rats.

How else would I have known about the wee rescue rats that are asleep on my desk now? Would the great Adtrader rescue have ever happened? How else would I know about EcoPetBed or the Shumanite Diet? Can you even begin to measure the amount of GOOD that's come from this site?

I guess there are of course disagreements, but in the main this is a fantastic site, and one of the very few...er, in fact the only one I know, that I'd be happy to let the children in my family use.

So... group hug everyone! And thanks again to all those behind the scenes who put in so much free time and effort for their much appreciated hard work.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have 3 rats to snog

[Kaleidoscope]

as somebody that has said harsh words on this forum i would just like to add that reading the posts on here they are so easy to be misinterpreted.

i got banned for 2 weeks for being nasty and rude and although a lot of my comments got misinterpreted i misinterpreted comments said to me as attacks. its so easy to do and im only human.

i feel like a right royal idiot now because i know that my posts are likely to be ignored because quite frankly i wouldnt want anything to do with me! i am dreadfully sorry for being so mean - i promise im not normally like that and i wont be like that again.

[Cate]

i feel like a right royal idiot now because i know that my posts are likely to be ignored

Not necessarily. We're all human and make mistakes; all we can do is make sure we learn from them. You've paid the price for yours, apologised and said you won't repeat them. Fresh starts are always possible!

[Kaleidoscope]

thats good, im really pleased

[ali67]

i feel like a right royal idiot now because i know that my posts are likely to be ignored

Not necessarily. We're all human and make mistakes; all we can do is make sure we learn from them. You've paid the price for yours, apologised and said you won't repeat them. Fresh starts are always possible!

Totally agree with Cate. Welcome back .