Article update - comments requested

Discuss what your rats eat. From general diet, food brands, eating problems and treat foods.
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tabirat
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Article update - comments requested

Post by tabirat » Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:42 pm

I have (at last :oops: ) rewritten the Shunamite diet article to reflect changes over the past couple of years. I was wondering if a few folks wouldn't mind reading it and checking that it is easily understood. Also any errors or ambiguities. I can already see a missing 's' on one of the ingredient(s) headings and a dead link to the cereals list.

Any comments much appreciated.

http://www.fancy-rats.co.uk/information ... =shunamite
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by KateR » Wed Nov 04, 2009 1:59 pm

At first reading it looks good. Thanks a lot Alison.
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by fuschia » Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:06 pm

I had a quick scan through, and the only mistake I spotted was where I think you missed out the word 'good' in Colours & flavourings: 'may be added to make the mix look (to humans) and taste more palatable'. :D
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by Feliss » Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:15 pm

Argh post gone :(

Shoudn't really use however at start of sentance can just remove and start.

Can you use different headings to aid with scanning? h1.h2.h3 etc?

Personally I feel the how to measure would fit under the shunamite 4 points, then when i read the article i can convert in my head.

Would also be useful if the percentages for each part stood out a bit more?

Sourcing ingredients could probably go at the bottom, as you don't want to divert people away until they've read most of your article?

Under human cereals a link is missing "A list of human cereals along with their suitability in terms of feeding rats can be found here." also it's not best practice to use a "here" link but rather "list of human cereals".

Otherwise it's good :D
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by acapae_wolf » Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:17 pm

ooooh yay! looks good, i like that there's an example straights thing listed as that seems to be the most common Q on here at the minute heh.

do you think you could put maize in brackets or something after corn when it's mentioned? just for more clarity as "corn" as a word is so so so ambiguous, and even more so since in the UK we've started using the american definition instead of our own :lol: :oops:

on a similar note given FR's more internation membership now, i'd make mention that some countries tend to call alfalfa "lucerne" - lots of people know to avoid alfalfa but think since this isn't mentioned as something bad that it's ok.

i like the list of reccomended places to buy from, but i'd stick them at the end as per references. Possibly add the millbury hill link in all the others, but have a note by it saying about the larger quantities; so that they're all in one place for easy scrolling.
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by not_ginger » Wed Nov 04, 2009 2:20 pm

Looks good, though I think you mean opportunistic rather than opportunitic??

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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by NicoleM » Wed Nov 04, 2009 8:23 pm

I have some questions just because I'm trying to find comparable grains in the US and am not familiar with grains in general. Mixed Millet - is that just the millet you buy birds? What does it mean to be "micronized"? Are you feeding the brown rice uncooked (without having to be concerned about it expanding and causing digestion issue... thinking of throwing rice at weddings and it killing birds? or is that a rumor?)? I feed a diet completely homemade (no lab blocks or dog food) and am constantly researching better ways to feed, so I value all the informatuon I've gathered here!! I would love to purchase the new book The Shunamite Diet when it's available. :)
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by jennifer-rat » Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:25 pm

Mixed millet is just bird millet, yes. Micronized just means reduced, I think?
Raw rice and pasta doesn't really 'expand' in rat's stomachs, as their tum's are full of acid, not water, so the expansion is minimal and not enough to kill if the rice and pasta is fed in moderation. I've fed raw rice and pasta in my rat food for all my rats with no problems. :)
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by Amez&Missy_Moo » Wed Nov 04, 2009 9:57 pm

It reads fine to me although i'm not sure if you missed a url insert in "A list of human cereals along with their suitability in terms of feeding rats can be found here."
Will be attempting to try a new mix soon following what you've just posted as the puffed wheat is beginning to stay alot longer than before, whereas it was first to go... now its the oats that are going first... :roll: lol.
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by Dinky » Thu Nov 05, 2009 7:30 am

Looking good Alison :D

One comment though; should oats be included with rye and wheat as straights which do not promote kidney health?
I thought that oats were high in phosporous and thats why I am trying to cut them down a bit - even though my boys love them :(
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by tabirat » Thu Nov 05, 2009 8:57 am

fuschia wrote:I had a quick scan through, and the only mistake I spotted was where I think you missed out the word 'good' in Colours & flavourings: 'may be added to make the mix look (to humans) and taste more palatable'. :D
Thank you, yes that would read better.
Feliss wrote:
Shoudn't really use however at start of sentance can just remove and start.
I think it's now considered acceptable to use however at the begining of a sentence to mean "never the less" - to do this you need the comma after the however. :D
Feliss wrote:Can you use different headings to aid with scanning? h1.h2.h3 etc?
I think it's just been put up in the general style of all of the FR articles - but this is a very good point for all of our articles.
Feliss wrote:Personally I feel the how to measure would fit under the shunamite 4 points, then when i read the article i can convert in my head
.

Good idea, I will rearrange.
Feliss wrote:Would also be useful if the percentages for each part stood out a bit more?
I can do that.
Feliss wrote:Sourcing ingredients could probably go at the bottom, as you don't want to divert people away until they've read most of your article?
Good point - will change the order.
Feliss wrote:Under human cereals a link is missing "A list of human cereals along with their suitability in terms of feeding rats can be found here." also it's not best practice to use a "here" link but rather "list of human cereals".
Yes this is the link I mentioned in my original post. I will try to rearrange the sentence.
acapae_wolf wrote:do you think you could put maize in brackets or something after corn when it's mentioned? just for more clarity as "corn" as a word is so so so ambiguous, and even more so since in the UK we've started using the american definition instead of our own :lol: :oops:
Yes, that would clarify.
acapae_wolf wrote:on a similar note given FR's more internation membership now, i'd make mention that some countries tend to call alfalfa "lucerne" - lots of people know to avoid alfalfa but think since this isn't mentioned as something bad that it's ok.
Good point - will add that.
acapae_wolf wrote:i like the list of reccomended places to buy from, but i'd stick them at the end as per references. Possibly add the millbury hill link in all the others, but have a note by it saying about the larger quantities; so that they're all in one place for easy scrolling.
Okay - will rearrange the order and group together.
not_ginger wrote:Looks good, though I think you mean opportunistic rather than opportunitic??

:)
I certainly did... doh! :lol: Thanks for that.
Amez&Missy_Moo wrote:It reads fine to me although i'm not sure if you missed a url insert in "A list of human cereals along with their suitability in terms of feeding rats can be found here."
Thanks. Yeah, that's supposed to be a live link. Will sort that. :-)
Dinky wrote:Looking good Alison :D

One comment though; should oats be included with rye and wheat as straights which do not promote kidney health?
I thought that oats were high in phosporous and thats why I am trying to cut them down a bit - even though my boys love them :(
Yes - totally - that was pure oversight in list writing and could cause a lot of confusion - thanks for spotting that!

Big thank you to everyone who took the time to read it and comment. I will leave it a couple of days in case there is anything else and then make the changes. :-)
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by yoshimi » Thu Nov 05, 2009 9:05 am

Feliss wrote:Argh post gone :(

Can you use different headings to aid with scanning? h1.h2.h3 etc?

Under human cereals a link is missing "A list of human cereals along with their suitability in terms of feeding rats can be found here." also it's not best practice to use a "here" link but rather "list of human cereals".
With concerns like that you have to be an SEO, or involved in SEO :P
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by Feliss » Thu Nov 05, 2009 11:49 am

i'm a search and taxonomy analyst :P

Not really involved in seo, more in constructing websites/pages with good ia and helping spread the good word of web best practice :D Cool to see you notice ^.^
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by yoshimi » Thu Nov 05, 2009 12:14 pm

It takes one to know one I would imagine :D
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Re: Article update - comments requested

Post by Jemma » Thu Nov 05, 2009 12:54 pm

It looks really good, it’s not too complicated which is always good and looks easy to read. The level of detail looks about right too, you don’t want to specify too many things in stone, so to speak, this allows for flexibility. A few things that might be useful to add though;

In the “why not feed generic…” section it may be also worth mentioning those ingredients your rats just don’t like and no matter how long you leave it they will not eat, even though there suitable (like those weird rats that don’t eat peas or rats that don’t like extruded wheat discs which is hinted at later)

In the nutritional suitability of the generic mixes I would add something along the lines of the fact they are in flexible not allowing you to adapt them to your individual rats nutritional needs

Do you still want to call this the Shunamite diet, I know it’s based on what you feed your rats and it’s the next evolution of what people currently think of as ‘the shunamite diet’, however changing the name now to something else (don’t ask me what, not got a clue  ) would maybe stop the problem of the last version where some people sillyly decided that whatever they fed that was approximately following the guidelines was a Shunamite mix therefore if anything was wrong with it, it must be your fault. It might also avoid confusion from one to the other, though really it is just an evolution, oo how about the evolution diet or more simply SD2 (making it the SD diet but not the Shunamite diet as such). Saying that, it will undermine the good work that seems to have been done making less people think that way so maybe not a good thing, thought I’d throw it in though.

It also needs a section about the fresh veg requirement to sit along side it, maybe also worth adding the option of fresh protein to the protein section too.

Is it worth putting in a section, or maybe a link around this later on, just on the absolute basics of adapting a diet to age/sex etc, so maybe how protein requirements change throughout the life along with phosphorous, fats and similar, or just links to specific diets around these principles (i.e. the kidney friendly diet or feeding nursing mums). It also might be worth listing (simply) the kind of signs to look out for that you might be getting things wrong, only on a basic level and possibly in a different article written later, with more depth coming (I’m assuming here, and getting excited about it) in your new scuttling gourmet.
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